In my prayer time, I’ve been asking the Lord to point out areas that are displeasing to Him. WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME UNLESS you’re ready to receive. Last night I was convicted when out of nowhere I heard in my mind, “Lisa, you’re arrogant.” And, I knew it was true.
I’m going to qualify this statement. I don’t think I’m a superior human being over another. The homeless guy, drug user, gang member, etc. are just as important to God as I am. They aren't lesser human beings and I don’t regard them as such. My arrogance is rooted in my professional abilities. I know with this next statement I run the risk of sounding arrogant, but I’m good at what I do. I know training inside and out. I'm a strategic thinker. I can see the big picture, and I’m not afraid to try new things. When I take behavioral or personality assessments, I score very high as a strategic, go-getter type person. I like to learn; I do learn, and I work hard. Most assessments indicate I have a low tolerance for people who don’t know what they’re doing and an even lower tolerance if the people who don’t know what they’re doing are my bosses.
In the past, I’ve had several bosses who really didn’t know what they were doing. It’s a fact, and I’m not being harsh or arrogant in saying it. I know I knew more, and even though I was respectful to them to their faces, I wasn’t always respectful of them when I spoke about them to other people. My words would be harsh and unkind in many instances. Always, in the back of my mind I’d be thinking, “I could do so much better if I were given the chance.”
It’s important for me to point out; I've never been given the chance. And, as I persevere to cultivate a relationship with the Lord, I feel fairly certain it’s because I haven’t learned how to be respectful to those I work for if they don’t meet my standards of knowledge and abilities. It’s an important lesson to learn. “The arrogant cannot stand in your presence. You hate all who do wrong.” (Psalm 5:5) Sobering words for a person who has suddenly accepted she’s one of the arrogant.
Right now, I have a reprieve because I have a knowledgeable boss. This is my opportunity to cultivate respectful habits. If the past is any indicator of the future, I am certain somewhere in the future there will be someone else I will report to who didn’t get the job by his or her abilities, but because of whom he or she knew. And I’ll be tempted again.
This Radical Experiment is painful at times. So, it’s important for me to remember the old phrase: “No pain, no gain.” I want to get it right because the Lord hates pride and arrogance and if I am his child I should too.