My Bible studies have taken me back to Exodus where I'm reading about Moses. During the last two days, God has been telling Moses to go and speak to the Israelites and then to go and speak to Pharoah. Both times, Moses has tried to wiggle out of the assignment by telling God just how much he lacks in ability. Each time God, no doubt impatient with this man for having so little faith in God to provide, has co-assigned the responsibility to Moses and Aaron. I'm reading and thinking "Man up, Moses." And then I'm convicted of all the times I've rattled off one excuse after another not to do what God wants me to do.
Whether it's Moses or me, we're so afraid we're going to look foolish that we miss out on the most important thing we could ever do, which is to serve God in a way He wants us to serve Him.
I love to sing. I always have. When I was a child, I would climb up to the top of my slide in the backyard and sing for the neighborhood. I didn't think about how I sounded. I just sang because I loved to sing. I still sing, but not with the same love and abandonment I sang with as a child. Now, I worry about hitting the notes right or forgetting the words. I have tremendous stage fright and pray for days before I sing that the Lord will be with me. I start a countdown about 24 hours before the dreaded moment and visualize how great it's going to feel to sing the last note. And, why do I worry? Because I don't want people to think I stink. In my mind, I can just imagine people are thinking, "Oh no, not her again." I worry what everyone else is going to think and can never feel the pure joy to just sing for the Lord. And, what I really want to do is sing to the Lord. I want to be able to forget all about the people in the audience and just sing to the Lord.
There are other things I know God speaks to me to do, and instead of following the finest examples in the Bible like Samuel who was always ready to say yes. Or like Nathan, who confronted kings to remind them of how they had failed. Or the best example of all, Jesus, who never backed down from fulfilling God's plan. No, I do the Moses side shuffle to get out of it.
I'll be singing again Sunday night. You've been warned if you're thinking, "Oh no, not her again." The song I'll be singing is called "To Become Like Him." The main theme of the song is we are strongest when we walk with God. Unfortunately, we let what other's think and our own fears rob us of the pure joy of doing what we've been called to do - to be like Him.